There are bound to be set backs, right? I'm wondering if this is a set back. I'm wondering if this is going to change the whole game or if I'll be able to get my "zip", my tenacity, my motivation back...
We cancelled our morning run -- Jenilee was not feeling well and I had an upset stomach. My stomachache could have been attributed to stress, nerves, or anxiety. But I was more than happy to go on home and crawl back into bed. I woke up a few hours later, feeling a little better, and got right to work on ordering for my most recent Pure Romance party. I was cruising along feeling good, then all of a sudden the butterflies came back. I felt uneasy and anxious, my mind started racing with a million different things. I began clenching my teeth so tight that I developed a headache. Because of these awful feelings I decided to skip kick boxing and body pump.
I've been so motivated, but I knew that a day like today would come. I hadn't had a plan for it, therefore I am not sure how to handle it. I keep thinking about something a friend of my said recently: "Just because I went to the gym yesterday but didn't go today doesn't mean that I am not going to go to the gym tomorrow." If I continue to remind myself of this little quote I should be able to get right back on track tomorrow. Tonight I need to find out where these feelings are coming from and deal with them!
If anyone has any ideas on how to deal with these uneasy and anxious feelings, please comment! That's why I'm blogging -- so I can lean on my friends.
I completely identify with everything you've said so far. I still don't understand how I can want something so badly, yet talk myself out of it in the same breath. The only time I've managed to get myself through it was the year leading up to my wedding. I lost 40 pounds. After the second child, I haven't been able to do it again. I think it's because "wedding dress" was a tangible goal. As hard as it is, I think maintaining a positive inner voice is key also. Like I said before, I'm rooting for you!
ReplyDeleteShanna, go tomorrow. Walk away from the guilty feelings and go tomorrow. If you only walk 30 minutes, go tomorrow. If you run for 10 minutes, go tomorrow. And then give yourself the freedom to not go sometimes....without the guilt.
ReplyDeleteIt's fear that creates the anxiety. You've seen a pattern before, and because you've seen it, you expect it and fear it. So, the only way to chase away the guilt is to do something counter to what creates it...see above paragraph. :) Well, that's my experience with it so far....pulling for you in a major way.
I know you are not playing football but this speech always gets me pumped...I mean it's Vince Lombardi.
ReplyDeleteWhat It Takes to be Number One
"Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all the time thing. You don't win once in a while; you don't do things right once in a while; you do them right all of the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game, and that's first place. I have finished second twice in my time at Green Bay, and I don't ever want to finish second again. There is a second place bowl game, but it is a game for losers played by losers. It is and always has been an American zeal to be first in anything we do, and to win, and to win, and to win.
Every time a football player goes to ply his trade he's got to play from the ground up - from the soles of his feet right up to his head. Every inch of him has to play. Some guys play with their heads. That's O.K. You've got to be smart to be number one in any business. But more importantly, you've got to play with your heart, with every fiber of your body. If you're lucky enough to find a guy with a lot of head and a lot of heart, he's never going to come off the field second.
Running a football team is no different than running any other kind of organization - an army, a political party or a business. The principles are the same. The object is to win - to beat the other guy. Maybe that sounds hard or cruel. I don't think it is.
It is a reality of life that men are competitive and the most competitive games draw the most competitive men. That's why they are there - to compete. The object is to win fairly, squarely, by the rules - but to win.
And in truth, I've never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn't appreciate the grind, the discipline. There is something in good men that really yearns for discipline and the harsh reality of head to head combat.
I don't say these things because I believe in the ‘brute' nature of men or that men must be brutalized to be combative. I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man's finest hour -- his greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear -- is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious."
- Coach Vincent T. Lombardi